The Really Unpleasant Computer Problem

[buster]

"Not sure if you meant that to be funny, Bill, but I laughed. "

The clever phrase 'cyclops eye syndrome', which I'll never ever forget, tells you all you need to know.

[Jason]

You mean that's not a real thing?

[fox]

An intriguing story indeed. The only thing wrong with it was that your Linux Mint didn't save the day.

[buster]

Some Fan, and Not So Fan, Followup Messages I Received, and the Final Post

From Cynthia Softbottom:

Your understanding of poor locked in Oscar touched my heart. You must be a very caring person. If you ever need anyone to bring you coffee while you struggle with a story, or just need someone to provide sympathy during the lonely hours of the night while you do your magical creating, I can be there for you. Get in touch.

 From Lord Blackmoor of Blackmoor Estate

The common people, such as yourself, do not understand that the invaders, including Oscar, are not friendly furry little pets! They are the first wave of the invasion! Get your head out of the clouds! Use your writer's platform to warn governments and the masses! Simply observe the obvious!

From Bertha Fulltop

Your knowledge of computer repair is quite untutored and naive. I could have fixed your Acer easily. It's as if no one has taken the time to teach you how to make the living thing in front of you hum and respond in the unimaginable ways a fully ready thing can. Your hands and mind have to guide this ready-to-react object properly in order to get a fulsome and eager compliance. I am willing to be your guide Buster. Call.

From Dr Edgar Tightmore, Physics Professor, Baskerville Academy

Where are the dates, where is the data, where is the scientific discipline in this pursuit to solve? My guess is that this whole story is a fabrication, and in fact I'd wager that the only real part is the conversation on the deck between your wife and Ms Dao. Am I correct?

From Stan Hardson, Leader of the New Royal Canadian Tory Party

What a bunch of namby-pamby twiddle-twaddle! Of all the wrongheaded hogwash this story takes the cake. And in the future, the new Prime Minister of our country, Stan Hardson, will be someone who can lead the citizens, willing or unwilling, back to the right thinking ways of our ancestors. Put the 3Rs in the forefront of our schooling, and bring back the strap! Get rid of the story stuff and the music and the poetry. And for sure get all Canadians back into the warm, loving world of our Christian churches on Sundays. (And I wont be afraid to use guns to get them back if they are reluctant!) This is what me and my party stand for. (Find our web page and click the donate shortcut. Any amount helps.)

From Willa Bedthrasher

We are both very similar creative spirits. I can sense it in the way you caress the words, twist and bend the sentences, and finally thrust extravagantly into the tale with climaxes that fill to overflowing the pages. It is deep and satisfying prose. We need to compare techniques. Get in touch.

From Your Wife

My dear sweet husband of multiple decades, if any one of Softbottom, Fulltop, or Bedthrasher agrees to do the wash, the shopping, the house cleaning, the cooking, the garden weeding, and the dishes for the next year, then she is welcome to come here and live. Otherwise, tell them all to bugger off!

The Final, Complete, and Total End

[Jason]

An intriguing story indeed. The only thing wrong with it was that your Linux Mint didn't save the day.

Right!? It should have had a happy Linux ending. Maybe that was the time to do poetic license, Buster. But to be fair, you did say it wasn't a typical repair story.

[Jason]

Nice variety of comments there, Buster! The rest are fine but I would not want to have lunch with Stan.

[buster]

"It should have had a happy Linux ending."

Ummmm. You do know how to read don't you Jason? It could have been different, but it couldn't have been happier at the end, unless maybe Willa Bedthrasher came for a short stay at our house.

[buster]

"I would not want to have lunch with Stan."

Stan appeared a year of two ago in the stories when he was the author of a book and did a review on my story. At that time he was not destined to be our next Prime Minister, though maybe he was thinking about it. You might remember him. This should still be somewhere in our forum:

Stan Hardson, author of Plain Talk for the New Society, wrote

"What a waste of paper! Anyone who can handle the language in a clear, succinct manner could have reduce this to 15% of it's length! Reading this keeps you away from accomplishing things that need to be done. What's all this canoe stuff? Does he think he's bloody Walter Shakespeare?"

[Jason]

"It should have had a happy Linux ending."

Ummmm. You do know how to read don't you Jason? It could have been different, but it couldn't have been happier at the end, unless maybe Willa Bedthrasher came for a short stay at our house.

Was Linux mentioned in the happy ending? I don't remember seeing it. And don't make fun of my reading skills. I can't help that I only read a grade 1 level.

[buster]

Ah yes. A happy LINUX ending. My mistake. However a Linux ending would not have been happy at our house. An impossibility in fact. It would have broken rule #1. And that would have made my life unhappy as well as Marilyn's.

But technically you are correct in what you wrote, and I was in error.

[ssfc72]

Wow Buster, that must be some pretty good wine you are having. :-)

Some Fan, and Not So Fan, Followup Messages I Received, and the Final Post

From Cynthia Softbottom:

Your understanding of poor locked in Oscar touched my heart. You must be a very caring person. If you ever need anyone to bring you coffee while you struggle with a story, or just need someone to provide sympathy during the lonely hours of the night while you do your magical creating, I can be there for you. Get in touch.



From Your Wife

My dear sweet husband of multiple decades, if any one of Softbottom, Fulltop, or Bedthrasher agrees to do the wash, the shopping, the house cleaning, the cooking, the garden weeding, and the dishes for the next year, then she is welcome to come here and live. Otherwise, tell them all to bugger off!

The Final, Complete, and Total End

[Jason]

But technically you are correct in what you wrote, and I was in error.

Very good of you to admit that. For a minute there, I wasn't sure what was wrong with my brain. Were you hitting the Irish whiskey when you wrote that? Even if you weren't, it's okay to lie and say you were.

[Jason]

The story needs pictures. Maybe just a gif of the cyclops eye for every chapter punctuated by Windows 10 update error screens.

[fox]

Needs a picture of Ms Tao!

[buster]

I believe she made her money in the movie industry in China. If I can get an autographed copy of her picture, would you like me to send it to your house? Or would your Trent address be more, say, convenient?