Windscribe VPN - humorous email

[ssfc72]

I received this humorous email from the Windscribe people and thought it was worth passing along.



Let Us Explain

We have a couple of updates for you, let's start with the most important one: We released a brand new browser extension!

What's new you may ask?  Keep your eyes focused on the series of words and pictures that follow, a practice commonly referred to as 'reading,' to find out more...


City Level Location Selection
A truly groundbreaking feature that will redefine your online experience


New Privacy Features
WebRTC blocking, location API spoofing, notification blocking and much more.


New Blocklists
Reduce your chances of catching an online STD. No, we're not talking about Tinder.

But wait, there's more! But since you likely have the attention span of a person that has a low attention span, we'll cut it short. If you wish to learn more, check out our blog.

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You may be thinking, "Ohhh great, this is the part where they ask me for money," but this is the one time you're incorrect. We have something much more important to talk about - the shittiness of the Chinese government! Surprise! Didn't see that coming did you?!

We're not going to bore you with "facts" or "opinions", we figured the best way to demonstrate what we mean is to let you try it out for yourself, which is why we're announcing the release of the simulated Oppression Panel, as seen through the eyes of the Chinese Government.

To activate this panel, go into your My Account section on our website, select the R.O.B.E.R.T. tab, and go to Custom Rules. Then type I am the chairman into the box and hit ENTER.

Welcome to the Internet as seen by people in China (and other heavily censored regions of the world). Most websites and services you use every day will now be blocked. Keep in mind, this is just a tip of the iceberg since we cannot simulate you getting arrested because you liked a Winnie-the-Pooh meme, or said a forbidden word on Weibo. You gotta go to China for the full experience.

Unlike the NBA, LeBron James, Blizzard, Tiffany & Co, Calvin Klein and Versace, Windscribe stands by its statement as we're already banned in China.

To disable this mode, simply click the Restore Democracy button. If only it was this easy in real life.

On a somewhat related and final note, if you have friends in Hong Kong, feel free to tell them that if they sign up for Windscribe, they will get 2x the free data (20GB/month). It won't help topple a dictatorship, but it's better than thoughts and prayers. Just slightly.

Random Fact

"The average person walks the equivalent of three times around the world in a lifetime."
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Moderator: Some weird characters appeared in this post sometime after the topic was created. The post was edited to remove them.

[fox]

Wow; that is pretty funny. Interesting marketing approach.

[Jason]

  Nice! Great sense of humour although it goes a little dark near the end. On the upside, VPNs do help citizens of oppressive nations access Internet resources (and organize). When my PIA subscription ends, I'll check them out. I loved this line:

"Keep your eyes focused on the series of words and pictures that follow, a practice commonly referred to as reading, to find out more..."

It's true, hardly anybody actually reads anymore and even when they do they often don't understand or miss half of what was written.

Us political organizers would have a much easier time if people would just go to the party website and read, even just for the issues they're interested in. Honestly, we'd rather people would inform themselves than have to waste all that money advertising to get their attention and hoping the media actually cares enough to help. I'm a bit gloomy that it will ever change.